Dumb & Dumber, Part Two, Southpoint Rock Farm Edition


Today sets a record as the Southpoint Rock Farm, toured by our friend, The Space Cadet, finds a whole new outburst of RIOC folly. The record? Two reported incidents of Dumb & Dumber on the same day.

By David Stone

The Roosevelt Island Daily News

Southpoint Rock Farm Warnings

Photo Credit: The Space Cadet

A little over a week ago, RIOC took down fences blocking access to its new Southpoint Rock Farm. The area was previously known as “Brooklyn Bridge Park North,” but its alleged model screamed “No” upon seeing the results.

“They just threw a pile of rocks in there,” Brooklyn Bridge Park complained. “Any idiot could’ve done that.”

When it opened in 2011, it was simply Southpoint, a retreat planned by and built for residents, but then RIOC spent a decade getting dumb and dumber.

Safety first?

Shortly after the opening, actually well before, observers cried foul. The garden of stone, interrupted in spotty fashion by things that grow and have color, was also a garden of hazards. Harsh-edged rocks everywhere invited injury from the slightest fall, and what looked like they were supposed to be guardrails were so low a toddler could trip over them.

Southpoint Rock Farm with guardrails so low in places a toddler could trip over them. ©David Stone/The Roosevelt Island Daily

RIOC had no choice, rousted from its slumber, but to answer with a swift response. Note: “Swift” does not imply smart or anything like it.

Yesterday, our intrepid friend, The Space Cadet, spotted RIOC’s klutzy effort at protecting residents against the countless hazards introduced in this project.

“RIOC continues to look out for the welfare of Islanders and visitors,” the Space Cadet observed.  “Anyone who falls off the rocks and into the water will be admonished for not reading the signs.”

But enforcing what?

DO NOT CLIMB ON ROCKS, the spellbinding signs wrapped haphazardly around poles demand. But it’s unclear what rocks are indicated as this warning isn’t near the new Southpoint Rock Farm. It’s adjacent to the sturdy fencing created out of stones from a demolished City Hospital. Kids have climbed on those for a decade.

But can you run, walk, fish or crawl on them? All we know for sure is that “VIOLATORS WILL BE SUMMONED.” Like, so what?

There is no law whatsoever against walking along any East River shoreline. It’s a false threat, like so many others piled up by RIOC while failing to enforce real laws. Being “summoned” simply means being commanded to show up somewhere, and RIOC can’t force you. For what? And where? Are the grand patroons of Roosevelt Island going to haul you into some court that punishes people for legal activities?

Isn’t being stuck with the Southpoint Rock Farm, paying for it, punishment enough?

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