by David Stone
The Roosevelt Island Daily News
Not so long ago, the internet spewed articles with Shelton Haynes’s name in big, bold, screaming letters. That ended in a sloppy climax when the RIOC’s board discovered that CEO Haynes bought supporting coverage without approval. The work was atrocious, inaccurate and, now, gone.
We don’t know who erased some of the world’s historically worst writing, but it was a good thing for Haynes because, instead of building up his profile, it diminished him with amateurish and worse prose.
But now, he’s back…
And by “he” I mean the gaudy fictional character that an allegedly professional service created. It was not Haynes nor sidekick Akeem Jamal who also got involved. Despite a troubled tenure, Haynes had achievements worth bragging about, but not like that – or this:
Industry News: Enhancing Technology and Security During Renovations at Roosevelt Island
An article with an impossible-to-follow trajectory busted through the internet scene this week.
It was written, it says, by one Sara Mosqueda, an accomplished writer according to her online resume. Suffice to say, this is not her best work.
More likely, it represents details tossed into an Artificial Intelligence blender in serious need of upkeep. It essentially spews nonsense seasoned with mistakes.
But Haynes is the only living being quoted:
“‘Over time, it had deteriorated significantly, necessitating a well-capitalized overhaul,’ said RIOC President Shelton Haynes.”
Here, he’s referring to Sportspark. Accurately.
Thereafter, the article explains how renovations spiraled into…
…a wide range of installations and enhancements, including implementing wide area network (WAN) and local area network (LAN) infrastructure to improve communications and connectivity, digital signage solutions, audio and visual technologies for user experiences, and surveillance coverage that encompassed the entire island.
This is, I believe, the longest sentence ever to appear in The Daily after eight years. It also shares the distinction of one of our highest grades for gobbledygook. It made me blink twice and say, “What?”
And just for fun… the creative errors
The article ends with how this project had a far-ranging impact on “…the new Sportspark facility, the youth center, Roosevelt Island’s police station, the Mosaic Church, RIOC’s operating center, and even an iconic lighthouse.”
Even with a very good map, you will never find most of these alleged facilities.
Air Doesn’t Have an Address
The Roosevelt Island Steam Plant fight has reached a new stage: DOB has agreed to a site walkthrough, ArchRI says it is bringing independent engineers and architects, and four elected officials have formally asked RIOC to create a Community Advisory Group (CAG) for the project.
