Reporting that “He’s at it again” isn’t enough as what looks for all the world like RIOC President/CEO Shelton J. Haynes job-hunting secures a spot cleanly on the lunatic fringe. In a new paid public promo, the composer positions Haynes as Roosevelt Island’s hero-come-lately. It gets really nutty before it ends.
by David Stone
The Roosevelt Island Daily News
“Wow, what a joke. He has done zero to improve the organization,” reacted one source who is well-versed in RIOC‘s operations. The source went on with examples of what would safely be described as Haynes’s ineptitude.
A resident took it personally.
“It’s all disgusting. It’s all too sleazy … and shameful & embarrassing.”
They commented after reading a new paid Haynes promotion disguised as a news article, something he could never honestly earn in a million years.
Shelton Haynes on Shaking Up Roosevelt Island Operating Corporation to Improve the Community is the headline. And it goes on at length in a clowns brew of false claims, shopworn cliches and inflated boasts. Want to enjoy it yourself? Read it here.
PS: Yes, he does mention improving the community twice but somehow fails to indicate how anywhere.
Is Haynes Job-Hunting on Your Dime? Really?
This time, whoever made the placement picked New Delhi, India-based ePRNews, instead of the domestic sources previously used in promoting Haynes. No one claims a byline, and the writing appears beyond Haynes’s own capabilities.
Imagine the Dear Leader smiling broadly as his stooge prattles on….
“He managed this by streamlining procedures and processes, leveraging technological advancements to make work performance more efficient, moving staff members into positions that suited their strengths, bringing in strong professionals in the industry, investing in employees through training opportunities and activities as well as enhancing both external and internal communications.”
We’ll check with Guinness, but that may set the world record for run-on sentences. But it’s also littered with claims for which no evidence is offered. Nowhere in this
resume… press release resides a single quote from anyone, friend or foe.
You might wonder why Haynes would be job-hunting. Well, take a look at his real record, the one this article obscures with empty bragging.
The Racist Thing
In multiple lawsuits, Haynes stands accused of racism. Residents accuse him of the same. But here, he has a rejoinder.
“Though he didn’t start out looking for minorities or disadvantaged populations initially, he ended up there regardless. In a recent interview, he mentioned, ‘It’s a bonus having complementary pieces who happen to be minorities.'”
See. Just a happy accident. But then, he goes on at tedious, self-promoting length.
“However, when given a résumé, I first look at the experience of the individual, not their name or background. We completely reorganized and reshaped our organization — we expanded roles and hired new talent thanks to succession planning — but it didn’t stop there; we grew processes and encouraged team members to think outside the box, impacting change immediately and preparing for the future with proper planning thanks to surrounding myself with a brilliant bunch of individuals.”
So, how in this word salad do you explain Altheria Jackson and Akeem Jamal?
And whoever spoke with semicolons?
“But Didn’t You Mention the Lunatic Fringe?”
The writer loses his grip on reality in the final section of this exercise in shaking out cliches.
The sky is the limit for Roosevelt Island Operating Corporation is the subtitle.
It runs from puzzling to fabulous in a single sentence.
“Capital projects are apparent from the surface, moving from a three-year average in 2013-2015 of $4.5 million to a three-year average in 2019-2021 of $85.5 million, and current capital project investments are over $100 million.”
All you really need to know here is that “$85.5 million” exceeds RIOC’s annual budget by a factor of more than two. How do you squeeze that much out of $32 million with operating expenses still to pay? Can Shelton Haynes or his shill add?
But maybe Haynes has an answer for that too.
Finally, Cliches Unlimited
Haynes comments, “Incredible things are in store for Roosevelt Island; the opportunities are endless. The sky’s the limit. Stay tuned for what’s to come because I promise you won’t want to miss it.”
You supply the punch line.
Sounds like he went to the George Santos school of self promotion.
Well, if we’re lucky, maybe he is looking for a new job and we can finally be rid of him.
Sadly, George Santos refuses to leave voluntarily. As for Haynes, no matter what he does to promote himself, no one else is going to give him the money he gets from us, not with his track record.