Grand Prize! We Found the Worst Roosevelt Island Article Ever Written

We’ve read several poorly written and citing false facts – with enthusiasm – but the worst Roosevelt Island article strides proudly past all of them. Our guess is that AI contributed, but despite numerous inaccuracies, it sill got picked up and echoed across the internet universe. We start with the worst first.

The Roosevelt Island Daily News

Titled The Eight Best Experiences on Roosevelt Island, the article saves its worst gaff for #6:

Pro Tip: Look for large yellow vent tubes on sidewalks. Roosevelt Island is the only U.S. city to use an automated vacuum waste system, which moves 5.8 tons of trash daily. Residents put their trash in collectors and it’s sucked down below street level into a central facility. No Loud trash trucks here!
The Eight Best Experiences on Roosevelt Island

If you spot any of those “yellow vent tubes on sidewalks,” send photos.

Explaining the Worst Roosevelt Island Article Ever Written

Honestly, those of us who work with AI – Artificial Intelligence – in blog creation are familiar with this problem. While AI can be brilliant, it’s only a tool. It’s not an end result.

AI, like a child without enough discipline, gets creative when stuck. It invents things, that is, lies of all sizes, as it finishes an assigned task. AI isn’t self-editing.

Responsible AI users fact-check and edit carefully. This writer, Kristy Karsten, doubles as an “airline pilot,” according to her bio. This suggests that Kristy may be fictional too. She for example gets photo credit for every picture in this article but is never seen in any of them.

Enough of the article is current, you get the impression that someone was here. But every photo resembles something easily available on line for free.

There’s the troubling picture of the new Nathan’s Hot Dog truck in the Tram Plaza, for example, but it obscures the Visitor Center, the most interesting feature there. Never gets a mention.

Featuring a tipping over support tower and a hot dog stand blocking out the historic Visitor Center, this beauty takes the cake for the dumbest Tram photo of all time.

The Blooper Collection

The Daily is happy to note that RIOC can’t be blamed for anything in this article. Not only is the state agency never mentioned, but the author credits “the city” for the new pickleball courts, their only recent success.

“Walking along the boardwalk looking across the East River…” is the caption for a grimy scene serving as the lead. Has anyone seen a boardwalk?
“The small, 2-mile-long, sliver-shaped island has about 18,000 (!) residents, 3.5 miles of flat bicycle and walking paths…” This may challenge for the most errors in a single sentence in world history.
“A newly opened Cornell University Tech Campus and easy public transportation add to the island’s charm. A large five-star rehabilitation center to help patients recover is located on the northern tip.”
“The locals refer to the bridge as the ’59th Street Bridge,’ which is not the official name of the ‘Ed Koch Queensboro Bridge.’”
“…drive over the bridge from Astoria — a small quaint area of Queens.” Apparently, she hasn’t been to Astoria either.
“There are several local restaurants in the middle of the island.” Sounds okay until you follow the link to these well-known Island eateries: Little Alley, The Ivory Peacock Bar, Bubble Cool, Mac’s Philly Steaks Diner and, our favorite – Antoya BBQ.
“This tiny island has at least 12 parks with walking paths, greenery, park benches, and areas to stretch out and run. The two most popular parks are Lighthouse Park on the north end and FDR Four Freedom State Park at the south end. Take the free Red Bus to either park from anywhere on the island.” Red buses, of course, don’t go to either location but maybe to the other 10 parks.
“Pro Tip: Stop by and see the Island’s Last Chance Canadian Geese Sanctuary along the FDR walkway and see the darling goslings.” There’s an “FDR walkway?”

Conclusion

This is, hands-down, the worst Roosevelt Island article ever, charting swiftly past the series of Shelton Haynes promotional posts in recent months. And it’s a demonstration of how bad misinformation can get.

The 8 Best Experiences On Roosevelt Island has been replicated across the internet in news aggregation sites like Newsbreak and FlipBoard. While it’s sorta funny in this context, imagine what an unregulated internet does with fake news and conspiracy theories.

Note: PIX 11 also recently posted a slight but accurate article about Roosevelt Island, ably assisted by Paul Krikler.