RIOC’s Ultra-Goofy SOS Campaign Sends Haynes Winging to the Oregon Cascades

RIOC’s Ultra-Goofy SOS Campaign Sends Haynes Winging to the Oregon Cascades

In recent month’s, RIOC’s SOS campaign – Save Our Shelton – has winged as far afield as Europe. Now, over the July 4th holiday weekend, we find it tickling the business community in rural Oregon. There is, of course, a fictional element.

by David Stone

The Roosevelt Island Daily News

In fairness, The Daily concedes that this all started in something called Ground News and came with this caveat:

Read with caution. This story is only being covered by news sources that have not been evaluated for good reporting practices by the independent media monitoring agencies we use to assess the quality and reliability of news outlets on our platform.

Ground News Disclaimer

But it was picked up anyway by the Cascade Business News. Nobody knows why. And nobody claims authorship, but as they say in Only Murders in the Building, “I know who did it.”

The Headline: “Shelton Haynes’ RIOC Hosts Monthly Meetings so Everyone is Heard”

You can’t make this up, and the grammatical errors are all RIOC’s, although the state agency is swept aside in favor of Dear Leader. A photo of Haynes playing chess heads this latest addition to the SOS campaign, even though it’s all about his astounding leadership in public safety.

It’s unknown why the SOS campaign picked a photo of Haynes beating a child at chess for an article on public safety meetings.

But lets not forget the humor.

Shelton Haynes knows that situations fall apart once communications fall apart, the article alleges. But in real times, according to Haynes’s communications sidekick, Akeem Jamal, that means RIOC “controlling the narrative.”

About the SOS Campaign

A lot of speculation arises over the RIOC generated SOS campaign.

It started with a thudding flurry of Haynes promos with screaming headlines in which he rose far above his roots in Blackwell House. They were sort of ridiculous as well as amateurish in practice. After that came press releases where SHELTON HAYNES laid claim to successful projects he had little or nothing to do with.

Fear seemed a motive.

But those failed too, and then, Jamal’s name as author melted away as the SOS campaign iceberg found its way to Europe before circling back to Oregon’s beautiful Cascade region.

One analyst suggests that the latest additions are privately composed and circulated outside RIOC’s domain. That’s because, inside Blackwell House’s confines, Haynes does nothing without Albany approval, and maybe the SOS campaign is freelancing on the side.


We don’t know much about this beyond its bizarre amateurish quality with no clear goal other than promoting Shelton Haynes. And why would he need that? Without a whole lot of effort and few achievements, he already pays himself more than any state in the union pays its governor, including New York.

It could only happen here, of course, in the Empire State and at the lowest point of democracy in the union, Roosevelt Island.

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