Your cat happily lives with you. She’s your faithful friend and companion. At the same time, he has a full life of his own that you know very little about. She’d like to know more about you but is a master of discretions. Here are some things that your cat would never ask if she could talk, but is nevertheless curious about:
by Jeanne Lindsey
for Assorted Ideas, Large & Small/The Thing About Cats
1.) Why am I forbidden from eating my owner? Just kidding. An icebreaker.
2.) Was that my tail or did something just crawl up my butt?
3.) Why do I get the feeling that there is another cat somewhere in the house?
4.) What’s with all these boxes? Am I moving?
5.) Is it normal for humans to become inexplicably irritable right before a bath?
6.) Why is there a heating pad on the floor?
7.) What’s with all this sand everywhere?
8.) Why do I have to stay in this boring-ass room overnight?!
9.) Why can’t I play with that thing that just ran across my tail?
10.) If it worked for the dog, why can’t I get in on this whole house arrest thing?
11.) Why do humans have so many pillows from which to choose?
12.) If a human could speak cat, would they even bother talking to me?
13.) What is that strange red dot and why is it following me around?
14.) Why is the dog eating my food?
15.) Aren’t you cold without more fur?
16.) If there are dogs in doggy heaven, why can’t I go to kitty heaven?
17.) What would happen if I just peed outside the litter box one time?
18.) Can I eat this bug? It’s moving kind of funny.
19.) Why do humans always leave me alone with the dirty dishes?
20.) Can I go outside yet?
Conclusion:
Cats really don’t know much about anything other than their immediate surroundings. They ask no questions and make no judgments, except maybe when getting ready to pounce on a passing fly or child’s toy.
What the Thermostat Forgot
I didn’t write this because I like the sound of my own radiator—not that it makes any. I wrote it because what’s happening at Roosevelt Landings isn’t just a story about heat or bills or broken promises. It’s about what gets lost in the fine print when no one shows up to remember. It’s about how silence seeps into walls the same way cold does—slowly, then all at once.
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