You might think that cats have a lot of time on their paws, but your feline friend is probably wondering what you do all day. And more. Here are some of his and her burning questions:
Assorted Ideas, Large & Small/The Thing about Cats
Your cat wants to know…
1. What was that little black and white thing I just caught? And can you please let it go?
2. How do you decide which shoes I’m allowed to sit on and which ones I’m not?
3. Why do you have so many shoes?
4. You keep petting me and telling me how good I am, but it’s time to get off the keyboard. Now.
5. How come you don’t eat that thing that all the other cats in the neighborhood seem to think is going to kill them?
6. Why is it okay for you to go outside, but not me? Does this have something to do with those little furry creatures that live under the porch? Because if it does, I don’t understand why you won’t explain it to me.
7. Do humans ever stop growing? Because my view from your head has changed a lot since you first brought me home.
8. I had the perfect box once. What happened to it and why?
9. Why do you always yell at me when you’re on the phone? If you’re going to tell me that I’m a bad cat, can’t it wait until after the call?
10. Can I have some of that chocolate bar you’re eating? It smells really good and I don’t think it’s going to kill either of us.
11. How come your friends always want to pet me, but they don’t want me to pet them?
12. Why do you keep doing that thing with your hands? And why are you staring at me like that? Now you’re creeping me out.
13. If I eat the fish, will it make my whiskers glow in the dark?
14. How come when I get near the food bowl you close your eyes really tightly and start slapping at the air? Am I doing something wrong?
15. What’s this thing that smells like people food, but isn’t people food? How come you don’t let me have any of it?
16. Why does everyone wear those things on their feet if they aren’t meant to be chewed on?
17. How come you don’t put your head in the water when you take a bath? It’s really interesting to watch.
18. What are all those little spiny things sticking out of the middle of your back? And what is that thing growing out of your tail? You know, I think I may have seen that in a National Geographic special once.
19. Do think it’s wrong to grow fur? Just going with what I’ve seen here.
20. How come we don’t live in a huge house with all sorts of different rooms to explore and interesting places to sit and lots of people who give us treats and pet us all day long? Why do we live here instead?
Well, there you have it. Your cat is wondering what your day consists of (and they would like to be more involved)
Please note that this article is meant for entertainment purposes only. The author does not advocate stealing or eating fish or breaking any laws.
By Jeanne Lindsey (Cat Lady Extraordinaire)