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It’s Closer Now: All About Sex In Self-Driving Cars


Have you ever had sex in a car? Well, it turns out that lots of people have. But what about while in motion? The car, I mean… while AI takes the wheel and takes you where you want to go…

By David Stone

Assorted Ideas, Large & Small

Sex In Cars: Who’s In?

The Surveys Say: “Oftentimes,” according to recent surveys by ZHAW Culturalways, 81% Of American say, “Yes,” if given the chance; however, only 24 percent would rather do this than continue texting during movie time.

Of course, opportunities are fewer than few and putting it nicely, all aren’t equal in appeal. Still, that’s a lot of chances to make hay in self-driving cars.

So, just when you’ve gotten used to swerving to dodge drivers texting their way down the street, self-driving cars open up new possibilities for diversion. Those at the wheel — or not — evade the drudgery of the road, but it’s for a shorter period than most will admit. And artificial intelligence can be relied on to mind its own business of getting passengers to their destinations.

Is It A Sensible Alternative?

Let’s say you’ve got no choice but to drive I-95 from DC to New York, escaping the tedium of your work as a congressman begging for money from Wall Street bankers. Your GPS says it’ll take four hours, more or less.

Of course, it’s “more.” Getting to New York from anywhere always takes longer. You can spend an hour just inching along between purple lines before reaching toll booths for the Holland Tunnel.

And let’s say you’ve already texted everyone you know who isn’t looking for a favor, and you’re out of DVDs. Or say, neither situation exists. You’re just bored from watching New Jersey flash by again. How many times can you appreciate the same refineries?

Would you jump at sex in your self-driving car, if the option presented itself? Let’s assume you have a compatible, liberal-minded companion sharing views of New Jersey from the passenger seat. You could read instead, but…

What’s Happening in the Other Lane?

In a Twitter poll reported on in The Daily Dot, 81% of respondents say they’d give in to temptation, depending on circumstances, availability or seduction. Anonymously, but still, the odds are high in favor.

Twitter poll takers probably skew young, and a scientific poll might get a more conservative response. But if you cut the “Yes!” votes in half, 40% still want to have sex in their self-driving cars as the New York skyline looms ever so slowly closer.

(Note: Your mileage may vary, depending on who’s riding from DC with you.)

It’s not as strange as you may think.

Challenges with sex in self-driving cars…

According to the article, concept cars now allow front seats to be turned around so they face seats in the back. You can play chess or power down a shared pizza, both of which probably take up more of your time than sex.

Most self-driving cars in concept stages now require a driver to be present as a safety feature in case something goes wrong. In time, that will no longer be true, and cars, like airplanes, will become safer without humans at the controls.

And then…

Those who now text while driving in spite of warnings will probably do whatever comes naturally. Self-driving cars may become the status symbol of choice for the young and reckless. They might also become bordellos on wheels. Pamphlets advertising services along your route may be stocked in rest areas.

Still, experts predict that self-driving cars will decrease (automobile) accidents by 80%, and Nobel Prize-winning novelist Saul Bellow in Herzog argued that having sex is an act of good citizenship.

But not necessarily while speeding along I-95 at 70 miles an hour as the Capital’s dome recedes in your rearview mirror.

Keep your eyes on the road. For now. And keep a bottle of water handy.

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