Are cats smart? Absolutely! They’ve mastered human enslavement without lifting a paw, proving they’re wizards of cunning and charm. Meanwhile, humans still can’t find their car keys.
by David Stone
Are Cats Smart…?
It’s one of the dumbest questions in the world. Recently, it was made to seem dumber because it was the theme of an article in the New York Times. The Times looks in the mirror and finds itself the smartest and best informed media in the universe.
“Cats are living proof that you don’t have to speak to have a conversation.”
The question comes up a lot, mainly I think, because cats are perceived as mysterious. In return, I believe that cats find people weird, but that’s another story. Sometimes, people compare cats against dogs, but that’s already settled.
“Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through the snow.” – Jeff Valdez
But back to people…
Are people smart?
Some are, of course. Take the quantum physicist Niels Bohr who gets credit for confirming quantum leaps for example. Unlike the nonsense in the mass media, a quantum leap occurs when a particle moves from one location to another. The particle does this without existing anywhere in-between. It’s like going from New York to California without a jet or Kansas.
A cat, though, might think, “So, what?” Every cat has known about that for years. So have their human companions. They just show up. Cats, in fact, are living proof that gravity is merely a suggestion. They don’t even have a fixed shape.
Anyway, the people…
The writer of the Times article mentions an associate who “owns” an “aussiedoodle.” This is not a genuine dog. It’s a designer product for people with too much money to tolerate evolution.
That’s strike one against people. Strike two landed when she wrote that some scientists estimate that a cat is about as smart as a two and one-half year old child. Which child, though? Rumors persists that there are millions.
And which cat? I’ve known some so curious and adventurous they’d explore any hint of something new. Others will nap contentedly on the couch like a binge-watching adult man or woman, less the beauty.
A step further
Let’s take the question of “Are cats smart?” a little further relative to a the two and one-half year old kid.
That kid may be able to read. One day, they might write a classic novel. This is if AI doesn’t get them first. The kid appreciates the value of shared information and wisdom.
The cat, on the other hand, can survive independently when only a few months old. It can hunt and have sex before the candles are lit on its first birthday. More significantly, your average cat – not just the really smart ones – can get members of completely different species to take care of all their basic needs while feeling no obligation whatsoever for repaying the kindness.
Cats, even the very young, can turn adult people into slaves and happy about it. They are living proof that magic exists.
A child may be forced to rake leaves or get good grades in school before earning minimal privileges.
So, are cats smart?
Haven’t you been following along? Of course they’re smart. Some are utter wizards. They’ve already earned the allegiance of most the world’s human population. Without weapons. Without war.
But so too are humans, two and one-half years and up. With evolution as the tool kit, all species develop the attributes that make their lives better. Or they die off, dominated by more agile competitors.
Cats and human reach the top of the scale on their own terms. But to be conclusively fair, while some people envy cats, it’s unlikely the opposite is true.
Maybe it’s just one of those questions you shouldn’t ask.
A Job With a Predictable Ending
The role looks stable from the outside. A President and CEO is appointed. A contract is approved. A salary is set.
