In so many words, RIOC President/CEO Seldom Seen Shelton J. Haynes told the disabled community to take a hike on parking permits. This came after an outcry provoked by first-ever charges blindsided Roosevelt Island’s most vulnerable residents.
by David Stone
The Roosevelt Island Daily News
I am Oz — the Great and Powerful. Who are you? Who are you?!
The Wizard of Oz
I have spoken to countless Island residents and stakeholders and have had time to consider your feedback concerning the permit rate increases, specifically the disabled rate at the Motorgate Garage.
Seldom Seen Shelton J Haynes, RIOC
In Other Words, Take a Hike
While the comparison might not be perfect, it’s apt.
Both the Wizard and Seldom Seen Shelton hide from the public, and neither is competent. Both find themselves in situations where they lack the skills necessary for fulfilling their responsibilities.
And they make gross mistakes. The Wizard, after all, left Dorothy behind when he ballooned back to Kansas. Seldom Seen Shelton…? Pick your favorite screw-up. The choices are superabundant.
But in Oz, Good Witch Glinda comes to the rescue. Here on Roosevelt Island, we have only a bad witch, and we’re stuck with four more years of her hovering protectively over RIOC.
Issuing his edict, Seldom Seen Shelton said, “I have spoken to countless Island residents and stakeholders and have had time to consider your feedback…”
Disgusted reactions were immediate.
“Shelton has spoken? To whom? Where? Certainly not in public…”
Spurred by this statement, Team Roosevelt Island Daily performed a diligent search overnight, but we were unable to scrounge up a single resident to whom Seldom Seen Shelton had spoken. Perhaps he was in disguise.
The Edict
RIOC remains committed to finding an equitable solution for all. However, RIOC cannot lower the $125 fee and adopt a more minor increase, as this would not be fair to our elderly constituents. In the spirit of impartiality, I must stand by my decision, as both groups should be treated fairly.
Seldom Seen Shelton Haynes’s Take a Hike Edict.
Fairness is good, but the Edict has little to do with fairness, if for no other reason than because nobody anywhere we are aware of complained about free parking for residents with disabilities. So, this is either kicking the helpless or money-grubbing or both.
According to its own public documents, RIOC projects $17,422,000 cash on hand and a bloated, spectacularly ineffective staff with many inflated salaries. In other words, they don’t need more of our money.
But then, in terms of fairness, there is this…
RIOC offers its employees free parking at the Motorgate parking facility…
RIOC Emploee Handbook
And if an employee prefers using mass transit, RIOC will “… subsidize the cost of monthly commuting.”
That’s fair, right?
And the wizard… Oops! Seldom Seen Shelton commands not just one free parking spot on Main Street, but three more for his “friends.”
Finally
In wrapping up his Parking Fairness Edict, Seldom Seen Shelton, an alleged college graduate wrote this:
To that end, RIOC will compromise as today I am announcing that all Motorgate Garage rate increases will be postponed, to be effective April 1, to ensure ample time is given to all permit holders beyond SP+’s required 30-day notice.
Alleged college graduate Shelton J. Haynes.
For added measure, the Parking Fairness Edict came via a “no reply” email, and if you have any concerns, you should call the parking garage, not anyone at the state agency that never gets it wrong.
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