Joe Biden was born in Dublin, Ireland, according to new findings by a Trump birther researchers. They say they have proof, and they’ve challenged Biden to produce a genuine U.S. birth certificate.
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes
Satire by David Stone
Joe Biden was born in Dublin, Ireland: The proof is in the pudding (head.)
Private citizen and alleged human being Donald Trump, detained on the 10th hole. did not comment.
Who made the discovery?
No one has stepped forward and taken credit for this remarkable discovery, first reported on Fox News, then on One News America, which reported about Fox. There are, however, clues.
The flaming turd pile previously known as Rudy Giuliani flew to Ireland after January 6th and was, according to sources, “digging into rumors.”
And internationally acclaimed attorney Sidney Powell scheduled a book tour for her How I Stoped the Steal When None of Those Cowards Would.
Powell boasts a perfect record in 60 courtroom challenges to Biden’s 2020 election victory, and the former Rudy Giuliani is a gifted sludge pot.
Late yesterday, an unnamed source produced more evidence of Biden’s birth in Dublin, but the source misspelled the city as “Dubblin,” suggesting Powell’s involvement.
“He’s Catholic,” he said. “They’re all Catholic over there.”
Of course, representatives for President Biden swiftly denied the allegations. Biden himself, they said, “would not dignify” the birther claims with a response.
Reacting to Biden’s team’s insistence that he was born in Scranton, Pennsylvania, Fox News’s Tucker Carlson sniffed, “Then, how come nobody heard of Scranton before now? Wasn’t it always Wilkes Barre?”
Sources expect Trump’s lawyers, armed with spellcheck software, to challenge Biden’s legitimacy in court. If it’s found that the president is not a “natural born” American, he can’t be president.
“Told you so,” chirped South Carolina senator and notorious chameleon Lindsey Graham.
In late breaking news about claims that Joe Biden was born in Dublin, Trump learned that Biden’s removal would not mean his return. He was shocked, according to firsthand accounts.
Next in line is Vice President Kamala Harris, a black woman with Asian roots.
“Where’s Rudy?” Trump reportedly screamed. “Somebody call Rudy!”