“I don’t know what your mother did to you!” she said, adding an exclamation with both fists thumping my chest. She did plenty.
We were parked on a dark, rarely used access road behind a university campus. We’d been making out until it devolved into conversation.
The major point was this. She wanted me to make a commitment, and I damn sure wasn’t going to.
That’s something Mom did to me. She taught me to be independent and not seek security or safety in someone else’s approval.
I could find love without giving up or giving in.
Approval was not my strong point, anyway. I scored best in the opposite direction.
Reflections on What Your Mother Did To You
I thought about that question many times. Unprepared, I didn’t give her a good answer. Or, more accurately, good answers.
All of us lucky enough to grow up with our mothers ought to have many answers. My Mom, being like no other, did things that few others considered.
But what about yours? If you’d like to comment on what your mother did to you, leave it in the comments below.
Gifts My Mother Gave Me
My mother forced me to become independent and resourceful, to rely on my own skills and intelligence.
She taught me that I could be irresponsible and not be destroyed by it.
Mom gave me the courage to hitchhike across the country when I was sixteen.
She blessed me with a wild streak that took me places I’d never have experienced without her.
That wild steak was tempered by my rock solid, responsible Dad, who she also gave me.
Ten brothers and sisters, four of which I sailed through childhood with, learning the rules of the world and baseball.
Resilience was her greatest gift, I think. Mom bounced back from every adversity. I knew I could too.
I Get Knocked Down, But I Get Up Again
Chumbawamba’s I Get Knocked Down is my favorite song. I got me through the ups and downs of a sales career in Manhattan, among much else.
I made a lot of money after singing that song to myself, first thing before plunging into work for the day; so, I guess I owe her that too.
Your results may vary, as they say, and I’m sure they do.
There’s also plenty more to add, but you get the picture.
My Mom was something else. What she did was give me the stuff to become who I am and have been.
The answers are not good news for my ex-fiancée. But they sure as hell are for me.